I’ve been back from California for a week now. Mistress Krista insisted on four straight days of rest, so I spent the week trying to catch up with work.
But who cares? Because! Under the supervision of two of my sponsors–Canadians Geoff Girvitz of Bang Fitness and John Berardi
I won’t be posting any specifics of the heavily customized program they have designed for me because I want to keep it confidential. They are both super open and generous guys and I’m not sure they care, but I want to respect their mad professional skillz. Also, it makes me feel like a freaky sports science experiment if I pretend to sneak around in a lab with little electrodes attached to me and two handsome men with clipboards judging my performance. And hey, if this little science experiment works, hopefully some of you will decide to see what they can do for you.
That said, I have to track my progress somewhere, so it might as well be here for stumptuous denizens to witness. I’ll try to take measurements and photos this week. No commitment to posting them, though, until I see what the “before” looks like.
I won’t say the training program looks easy – I think most non-athletes would be horrified by the volume of work I will be doing, and I am a little intimidated myself. John told me yesterday that I would be training like one of his Olympic athletes, except I would be doing it with a real job and a life, and that’s going to be hard.
In addition to making me work sweat like New Orleans, Geoff is always giving me simple-looking exercises that highlight some missing link in my biomechanics. I never knew jumping off of a box could be so challenging.
I can’t wait to see what happens. Since I have agreed to follow it to the letter and they gave the final version to me tonight, the program starts on Monday.
Tonight I enjoyed a 260 kcal giant helping of chocolate pecan tofu pudding. The dessert is 67% fat, 18% protein and 15% carbohydrates–this high fat diet is working for me. While it’s more soy than I would normally eat, it makes me feel like I’m pigging out. I put 200g soft tofu, 1 tbsp unsweetened dark cocoa powder and a generous sprinkling of Splenda into a food processor, then mixed it all together. I put it in a bowl, topped it with 15g of chopped pecans and chilled it in the fridge for 30 minutes. Then I ate it with a spoon while sitting in front of the idiot box and watching the first episode of Dexter. If you don’t have Dexter, you can make substitutions in the recipe: I suggest Battlestar Galactica or The L Word.
(My roommate says it tastes nothing like chocolate pudding, so don’t fault me if you try it and hate it. I like it though.)