Mommy (to be) rage: Hands off pregnant ladies

I think it’s Pregnancy Week at the Stumpblog.

I remember my younger sister telling me how creepy it was when total strangers would grab her belly in stores etc. when she was pregnant. Now regular site reader, world traveller, and cheese/chocolate aficionado, Lieke updates me on the “enjoyment” of having her body on public display. From the WTF? files…

Have you experienced similar bullshit? What’s up with this? Let’s hear your comments!

I’m 6 months pregnant and already a crappy mommy. How’s that for a new record?

I’ve just turned 40. I’m pregnant because I wanted to be, thankfully without any external assistance (apart from the one you might expect), and in damn record time too. I’m healthy and active, I try to work out 4-5 times a week according to the Gospel of Squat, and yeah: I do that with all necessary precautions and adaptations to accommodate my ever growing bump.

Truth be said, it was already kind of there because despite of being healthy like a pig, I’m also a bit overweight according to most standards, even after losing 25 pounds last year. Apart from the occasional, not even weird craving I usually don’t give in to (crisps and ice cream), I try to eat healthy stuff I cook myself. And I feel fit and great.

SO WHY THE HELL AM I ALREADY MADE OUT TO BE A CRAPPY MOMMY-TO-BE?!

For many people, being pregnant means being in a state worse than physically handicapped.

It apparently also means abstaining from any (let alone strenuous) exercise. Eating “ well” is highly recommended but can be anything from stuffing yourself because you’re “ eating for two” to counting every single damn calorie you ingest.

Also recommended by my army of apocalyptic friends and family: sitting around and not moving at all for 9 months. They even research the internet on my behalf for any scary pregnancy condition I (or the baby) might attract because of my lifestyle.

I’ve been having fun collecting insane advice about my ever-growing bump:

  1. Do you drive?! (5 times)
  2. You shouldn’t work out AT ALL! You might drop the baby (umpteen times)!
  3. Do you swim?! (+ lots of dirty looks on the beach from older women why think I’m behaving irresponsibly)
  4. While swimming: (screeching voice from the shore): YOU! HEY YOU! Who, me? YES, YOU!!!! GET OUT OF THE WATER NOW! Are you talking to me? YES, YOU!!! GET OUT! NOW!!!!! But why?! (thinking: sharks? Tsunami? WTF?) THE WATER IS DIRTY! IT’S UNHYGIENIC!!!! (look down: crystal clear, fishes dancing around my toes…)

Well, dear friends and family, I am just not buying into that shit.

Instead of listening to you I:

  1. Consulted my physician/gynecologist and guess what: OH HORROR! He gave me the green light to go on with, training, eating and living like I was a normal person, barring any pregnancy complications, in which case (duh!) I should consult him again.
  2. Talked to my PT, who adapted my training program and food recommendations to fit the bump.
  3. I (sometimes smiling, sometimes grimacing with gritting teeth) pointed out the above to anyone trying to persuade me that “what everybody says” was actually better advice.

And guess what: they shut up.

So, for all of you ladies in the same situation as me: keep up the good work as it’s only going to benefit, not harm you; do what you have to do, want to do and can do, using your physician’s advise and your own common sense.

  • Listen to expert advice and your body, and say screw you to anyone else.
  • Kiss your partner and thank them for caring.
  • Nod to your mom and do your own thing.
  • Smile at your friends and say: thank you, I’ll think about it.
  • And beat up anyone else on the useful pretext of “ pregnancy hormones” .