In Which Scarlett Johanssen Does, Verily, Bring It Upon the Buttocks of the Mass Media

August 6th, 2009  |  Published in Stumpblog  |  7 Comments

In the Huffington Post, Scarlett Johanssen opens a can of whupass on critics and tabloids who make up BS about celebrities. An extract — go read the whole thing:

While training for an upcoming film, I’ve come to this conclusion: chin ups are near impossible and lunges suck. There is no magic wand to wave over oneself to look good in a latex catsuit. Eating healthy and getting fit is about commitment, determination, consistency and the dedication to self-preservation…

People come in all shapes and sizes and everyone has the capability to meet their maximum potential. Once filming is completed, I’ll no longer need to rehash the 50 ways to lift a dumbbell, but I’ll commit to working out at least 30 minutes a day and eating a balanced diet of fruit, vegetables and lean proteins. Pull ups, crunches, lunges, squats, jumping jacks, planks, walking, jogging and push ups are all exercises that can be performed without fancy trainers or gym memberships. I’ve realized through this process that no matter how busy my life may be, I feel better when I take a little time to focus on staying active. We can all pledge to have healthy bodies no matter how diverse our lifestyles may be.

Since dedicating myself to getting into “superhero shape,” several articles regarding my weight have been brought to my attention. Claims have been made that I’ve been on a strict workout routine regulated by co-stars, whipped into shape by trainers I’ve never met, eating sprouted grains I can’t pronounce and ultimately losing 14 pounds off my 5’3″ frame. Losing 14 pounds out of necessity in order to live a healthier life is a huge victory. I’m a petite person to begin with, so the idea of my losing this amount of weight is utter lunacy. If I were to lose 14 pounds, I’d have to part with both arms. And a foot. I’m frustrated with the irresponsibility of tabloid media who sell the public ideas about what we should look like and how we should get there.


  1. felipe says:

    August 6th, 2009at 4:58 pm(#)

    Who knew?

  2. Charity says:

    August 7th, 2009at 9:39 am(#)

    Dagnabbit, isn’t it bad enough she’s married to Ryan Reynolds? I have to actually LIKE her now too?

  3. Elizabeth says:

    August 8th, 2009at 11:29 am(#)

    Ooh, Black Widow. She’s gonna look fab. And I feel her on the lunges.

    They’re definitely just making up numbers. No understanding of how much fourteen pounds is, or what its presence/absence might look like. Not to mention that, from a purely superficial standpoint, such a loss would probably have a negative effect on Johansson’s celebrated measurements — an effect which, as she and the film’s producers surely know, would actually reduce her attractiveness in a latex catsuit. Disastrous thought. If the magazine writers actually thought about it for more than two seconds, they would figure that out.

    From a non-superficial standpoint, how fabulous that she’s skewering both the tabloid mags and the fitness-industrial complex at once.

  4. Katie says:

    August 10th, 2009at 9:26 am(#)

    Eh, she’s kind of whiny. Yeah, getting into shape is hard work, but its often enjoyable as well. If celebs are gonna speak up I’d like them to bring that up too. If you’re not enjoying it, you’re doing it wrong.

    Also, starlets whining about being judged on their appearance is rather hypocritical. Looking good is part of their job. Scarlett is nothing special as far as acting goes – she’s famous because of her appearance. Should the everyday woman compare herself to celebs? Of course not. But the everyday woman should value herself and be smart enough to know better too.

  5. Christine says:

    August 11th, 2009at 5:08 pm(#)

    Good for her!

  6. Jennifer says:

    August 16th, 2009at 2:00 pm(#)

    Katie, are you kidding me? Working is out is HARD, and because it’s hard, it’s often unpleasant. I hate it most of the time (with the exception of yoga), but I know it’s good for me, and I get good results, and I’m most certainly not “doing it wrong.”

    Any woman who commits to a healthy lifestyle should be praised, not criticized. Holier-than-thou types like you don’t do the rest of us any favors. If you’re one of the lucky ones that enjoys working out, great, but don’t belittle the rest of us who are getting off our butts despite finding the gym a challenge. That woman working her ass off on the treadmill next to you may not be having fun, but she’s certainly doing nothing “wrong.”

  7. Michelle says:

    January 20th, 2010at 12:30 pm(#)

    Honest, with a realistic perspective. My respect for Scarlett just went up significantly!

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