Dumbass Diets, Part 135: The Red Bull Diet

June 30th, 2009  |  Published in Stumpblog  |  9 Comments

From the No shit — ya think this might be bad? files:

A 23-year-old Auckland mother who lost 45kg in eight months by drinking nothing but energy drink Red Bull says she has ongoing health problems because of the diet.

Brooke Robertson told the Herald on Sunday she shrank from 105kg to 60kg drinking nothing but 10 to 14 cans a day, often accompanying them with nothing more than a handful of dry Honey Puffs.

Full story

Had she kept going she might have won a Darwin Award for this one.


  1. Trishy says:

    July 1st, 2009at 9:50 am(#)

    Wow. Can’t blame Red Bull for this one, I know the company pretty aggressively promotes their product, but I doubt anyone there would recommend you live off of it for a while.

  2. Bret B says:

    July 1st, 2009at 10:56 am(#)

    Wishing someone would die because she had poor information about nutrition? Not cool. Isn’t this supposed to be a helpful and supportive place?

  3. Elizabeth says:

    July 1st, 2009at 10:57 am(#)


    Ugh, the taste… I can’t stand the thought. Couldn’t she at least have drunk, I don’t know, coffee? Orange juice? Something that doesn’t taste like baboon urine?

  4. Dana says:

    July 1st, 2009at 2:53 pm(#)

    people are retarded.

  5. Mistress Krista says:

    July 1st, 2009at 4:22 pm(#)

    Sometimes we are helpful and supportive. Sometimes we call idiocy like we see it. And no, my comment was not meant as a statement of intent. I do not WANT people to die. If you are of humourless literal persuasion perhaps you might consider reading another website.

  6. Dave says:

    July 1st, 2009at 7:35 pm(#)

    Love the quote from the article:

    A Red Bull spokesman said there was “scientific evidence that caffeine is not addictive”.


    No comment.

  7. Mistress Krista says:

    July 2nd, 2009at 6:47 am(#)

    The weird thing is, I thought the addictiveness of caffeine was something we all took for granted. Don’t we all joke about how bitchy we are without it? It seems bizarre that someone would deny it when it appears to be common knowledge. On the other hand, tobacco people said their stuff didn’t cause cancer either.

  8. The Dreaded Rhubarb says:

    July 2nd, 2009at 7:25 am(#)

    This isn’t a diet, it’s a mental illness. People with disordered eating often use highly caffeinated drinks to control their appetite or they try to score ritalin prescriptions. That she concealed what she was doing is another red flag. She probably knew she was damaging herself but couldn’t stop.

    I admit that’s not as funny as laughing at the bimbo who tried to lose weight on a silly diet but maybe a little sympathy is called for.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    July 2nd, 2009at 11:49 am(#)

    Krista: I didn’t see that as a statement of intent, but of simple fact. Had she kept going, she probably would have died. Hell, she’s lucky she didn’t anyway.


    I agree, except that I don’t know if she had eating problems before — sounds like she started out with the generally disorganized life of a new mother, in which many things get screwed up, and then continued the bad habit she’d fallen into because of the intense pressure to lose that baby weight as fast as possible. She surely ignored the early signs of trouble — even one day drinking nothing but Red Bull would make me feel wretched — because hey, she was losing weight, and weight loss is always good, right? Hooray for Western society.

    I hope nobody reads this article and decides “hey, that sounds like a great idea! I’ll just do it for four months instead of eight and I’ll be fine” — but you just know someone will.

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