Now, I’m not talking about those idiotic “you don’t need weights, you just need 12 oz. cans of tuna!” workouts that Cosmopolitan magazine advertises (I swear I am not making the part about the tuna up… it was actually suggested by Cosmo for biceps curls… maybe they were aiming that article at 2yearold malnourished children or something). I’m talking about oldschool, farm girl, Dinosaur training style pickin’ up heavy stuff lying around the house and yard.

what every weightless girl needs to have in her wardrobe

I’ll tell ya what to do with all of this stuff. Some are just cheap things you can pick up at the local discount store, while others are likewise cheap things you can pick up at the local hardware store. Army surplus stores are also good places to look for things like heavyduty knapsacks. If you have other cool ideas, drop me a line.

• old soccer ball, basketball, or volleyball
• jump rope
• an old durable knapsack, and/or duffel bag, maybe even an old suitcase
• sand
• an old pillowcase or contractor’s garbage bags
• duct tape
• a little kids’ plastic sled or the “tray” part of an old wheelbarrow
• thick rope
• gloves
• a small towel, or some plain foam, or some pipe insulation foam
• a bucket
• a shovel

sandbag

Sandbag work can be a full body exercise. To make a sandbag, you’ll need an old knapsack or any of the other durable bags I mentioned, some carpenter’s sand (mine was $10 at the local building centre for 75 lbs. worth), an old pillowcase, and the duct tape. Now, when I got my bag of sand, it was the perfect weight for my first sandbag, so I just put the plastic bag of sand right into the duffel bag.

However, not long after I got this first sandbag, I got my navel pierced. I discovered that it’s rather challenging to avoid yanking out one’s navel piercing when carrying a heavy sandbag. Thus, I reduced the sandbag’s weight a bit in order to make it easier to control and manage (my garden with clay soil appreciated the sandy compost I made to use up the leftover sand).

Making a lighter sandbag than factory issue is where the pillowcase comes in. It’s even a good idea to double up on the pillowcases, just in case. Fill the pillowcase with the desired amount of sand. Then ducttape it shut (make sure you do a good job here… nothing like a sand explosion when you drop the bag) and put it inside the knapsack. You can also use heavy duty contractor bags, which are like very thick black garbage bags. Again, should be pretty cheap at the local building store. I used the contractor bags and simply knotted the ends. Just to be on the safe side, I used two bags, one inside the other. The army bag’s now a bit big for its sand contents, so it ends up being a little floppy, but that’s OK.

Voila! You have your very own handy-dandy sandbag. Make a few of these which are different weights, if you like.

What to do with the sandbag? Lots of ideas, most of which sound easy until you try them!

• Pick up the sandbag and put it down. Try 3 sets of 10 reps of pickingupputtingdown with a heavy sandbag. To pick up the bag, squat down and bear hug it, then stand up with it. Squat back down to put it down.
• Carry the sandbag around. Pick up the sandbag in a bear hug and carry it around your backyard. Try to do a few laps or a few minutes. Rest a bit, then try again. You can also try to carry it while holding the sandbag by the handles of the bag (a little suitcase full of sand would be useful here… get one in each hand, even).
• Once you’ve mastered lifting and carrying the bag, try carrying it up a flight of stairs or up a hill. I like to go up and down my front stairs with the sandbag on one shoulder. Five trips up and down equal one set, and I alternate shoulders from set to set.
• Roll the bag end-over-end.
• Pick up the bag and press it overhead, or try to bench press it.
• If it’s a knapsack, try putting it on your back and squatting with it, or doing calf raises. You can also try to squat/calf raise while bearhugging the bag, or with the bag on one shoulder, as shown above. I use a slight lunge stance to squat with the bag but you can also use a regular squat stance have some fun with it and experiment to see what you like. The weight of the bag will also determine what feels best.
• Grab the bag by the handles and try to row it towards you like a bentover row. Try it with your arms around the bag too, if the bag is not too big.
• Deadlift the bag by the handles. Or, if it’s a suitcase or duffel bag type, try onehanded deadlifts with the bag to your side.

medicine ball

Medicine ball work helps to build explosive strength, coordination, balance, stability, and good lower back/oblique/abdominal strength. To make your own medicine ball, take an old soccer ball, basketball, or volleyball. Pull the air plug out with a pair of needle-nose pliers. Then, using a funnel, fill the ball with the desired amount of water or sand (experiment with both, as both give a different weight and feel to the ball). Aim to get about 2 to 10 lbs. in there, as desired. Like the sandbag, it’s handy to have a few of different weights. You can either replace the plug and leave it, or tape over the hole with duct tape.

Here are some medicine ball training ideas. Generally you hold the ball in both hands, but you can also try one-handed catching and throwing if the ball is light. Always keep the ball under control; you’re not trying to throw it hard, but rather accurately and, eventually, quickly (start slow till you gain skill). Keep your eye on the ball, and if standing, feet firmly planted. Back should be in neutral position, never rounded. Start light then work up to heavier work. Treat medicine ball throwing like a set of weights, so instead of doing 50 throws in a row, do 3 to 5 sets of 8 to 10 throws and rest in between.

• Toss the ball back and forth between you and a friend. Try:
  • two hand catches and one hand catches
  • catching low, mid-height, or high with arms overhead
  • catching in front or to the side
  • throwing in front or to the side
  • throwing between one another while facing one another
  • passing the ball between you while standing sideways to one another or back-to-back
  • different throwing styles such as upwards (like shooting a basket), a “pressing throw” like pushing the ball out in front of you, and underhand
  • passing the ball between you while in different positions, e.g. one person standing, one lying down, or one person standing and the other crouching
• Toss the ball upwards from an underhand grip, starting from a crouch position and leaping up into a standing position, kind of like how little kids throw the ball when they start baseball. You can also try the “shooting a basket” upward pressing throw with this “squat jump” movement.
• Bounce the ball off a wall.
• Do ab crunches with the ball held above you at arm’s length, or on your chest.
• Lying on the floor or ground, toss the ball into the air, sort of like a bench press with the ball.
• Holding the ball at arm’s length overhead, gently bend from side to side, or squat down keeping the ball overhead.
• Hold the ball between your knees, and pull knees to chest, or keeping legs straight, raise legs.
• Holding the ball at arm’s length, make big gentle circles, bending from the waist. Make smaller circles above or in front of you.
• Hold the ball to your chest, bend from the hips keeping lower back arched, then stand up again.
• Do pushups with your feet on the ball.
• For more ideas, check out this illustrated list of medicine ball drills (list 1 and list 2) as well as the book Medicine Ball Training by Zoltan Tenke and Andy Higgins.

sled dragging

A great fullbody exercise, particularly legs, back, and grip (if you’re holding the rope). To make a sled, you’ll need a little kids’ plastic sled with a flattish bottom, or the “tray” part of an old wheelbarrow. Loop a length of sturdy rope through the holes in the sled or wheelbarrow tray, long enough so that you can hold the rope in front of you as you pull the sled. Then, get some more of that ol’ sand (you can just throw your sandbag in here, if you like) and dump it into the sled.

Here are some ideas about ways to pull the sled. Take big strides and keep back upright, looking straight ahead. If the rope is hard on your hands, try wearing gloves, and if it’s hard on other parts, try wrapping a small towel around it for padding. If you have some old foam lying around, especially some old pipe insulation, that’s useful for taking the bite out of the rope too. Use your duct tape if needed.

• Loop the rope around your hips or over your shoulders (hold an end in each hand, hands at your armpits) and walk and/or run forwards, facing away from the sled.
• Loop the rope around your glutes and walk backwards, facing the sled.
• Pull the sled holding the rope with your hands in different positions: over your shoulders like suspenders, with slightly bent arms out in front of you, with arms down and rope between legs.
• Stand facing the sled and do an explosive “row” plus a step back, like yanking someone off balance by their coat collar. Once you get coordinated with this, try to do it while walking/shuffling backwards without stopping.

Ironmind sells a harness specifically for sled dragging, if you want to get all fancy schmancy.

car pushing / pulling

This one can be hilarious good fun. Not long after OMGBFF A bought a Smart Car, we were sitting on her back deck shooting the breeze when one of us looked at the cute little vehicle sitting in the driveway and said, “I bet that would be fun to push.”

And the evening was off.

She jumped in the car and put it into neutral. Luckily her driveway is long and level, a perfect stretch for a little auto hauling. For safety reasons obviously pushing up an incline is not recommended. Also, have someone in the driver’s seat watching at all times, steering and ready to hit the brake in case you stumble (I pushed slowly and carefully for the photo, so my driver could snap a pic).

To push a car properly, place hands firmly on the hood or trunk, and keep arms straight but don’t lock your elbows. Bend from the hips, not the waist, and let your legs drive the movement. Think of walking forward with the torso held stationary. You’re not really pushing so much as you are kicking the ground away while your hands are fixed.

Site reader Lindsay pulling a car

We discovered that the Smart on its own was too light, so girlfriend hit the brakes a little to provide additional resistance (you may not have this problem if you’re attempting a Lincoln Navigator or something). I pushed it back and forth, alternating between pushing from the front and the rear of the car. After 10 reps or so, I’d had a pretty good workout, and the upstairs neighbour had poked his head out of the window to ask if there was something wrong with our car. We had a good laugh and resolved to make car pushing part of our regular routine.

We discovered that one can do two styles of pushing. First, you can go for speed. In this case, my friend wouldn’t brake, but simply steer, as I tried to move the car as quickly as possible, almost trying to run with it. Or, you can go for resistance. In this case, judicious application of the brakes provides a challenge and the movement is slow. Mix it up and see what you like.

Once you’re feeling fancy about pushing the car, take a crack at pulling it. Get yourself a nice rope and a level surface (don’t pull downhill unless you want to risk kissing a bumper should you fall backwards). And then bust it out like site reader Lindsay above.

sand buckets

This exercise builds upper body strength, especially grip strength. Take your bucket and put some sand or rocks in it. If the handle of the bucket is thin and liable to really dig into your hands, wrap it in some foam or a towel. Ideally, get one bucket for each side. Then pick them up and go for a walk with them. If you can walk longer than 60 seconds with them before the burning and/or numbness in your forearms forces you to drop them, then add more sand. You can also try:

• One-arm bentover rowing a bucket towards you
• Shrugging the buckets (come up on your toes at the top of each shrug for some extra calf and balance work)
• Walking with the buckets held out from your sides (don’t try to hold arms out too far; 8 to 12 inches will do)
• Biceps curls with the bucket
• Twohand and onehand deadlifts with the buckets held to your side
• Filling up one bucket and leaving the other one empty, then picking up the full bucket and pouring it into the empty bucket, repeat

shoveling

This one is perhaps the most apparently easy of them all, but wait till you try it. Those of us who are gardeners or northerners will know that this is a full-body workout, especially if your soil is clay or the snow is wet.

For dirt shoveling, find a corner of your backyard that won’t mind this intrusion. Then, using correct form, i.e. bending from the hips and legs, not rounding back, dig a hole. Start with a shallow hole at first, then as you get better, dig a deeper hole. Once you’ve dug it, fill it back in. Find this too easy? Soak the dirt first before you shovel it back in. You can repeat this exercise infinitely, or until the neighbours call the cops because they think you’re burying a body.

You can also mimic this movement with a sledgehammer, as in Shovelgloving. I’m working on doing this in the sledgehammer picture to the right here. It’s an easier option if you don’t have a yard, don’t have a fresh snowfall, or don’t feel like getting dirty. I imitate the shoveling motion, getting the hips into it as I bring the “shovel” up and unload the “dirt” off to one side. I do 30 or so reps on one side, then rest a little, and do the other side. Notice also that I find it more comfortable to shovel slightly to the side rather than directly in front. This allows me to put weight on the front leg and keep my lower back happy. Avoid twisting from the waist. Think of the torso from shoulders to hips as a rectangular block that should stay stable. Rotation of the body happens by moving the hips, rather than by twisting the lumbar spine.

sledgehammer

Sledgehammer training is coming into fashion for old-school physical preparation. It hearkens back to the good old days (or bad old days, depending on how you look at it) of manual labour. This type of training works the hands, forearms, upper and midback, and abdominal girdle nicely. Depending how the swing is executed, sledge work can be a full body exercise. The great thing about sledge work is that the hammers come in varying weights, from little 3 or 4 pounders like the one I’m using in the photo, to 15 pound ones with longer handles. This can provide some nice progression and variation. And they’re cheap too! If you have a wall that needs knocking out in your house, this is the perfect opportunity to get started. Nothing relieves stress like bashing the hell out of drywall and wooden studs.

Despite its rather primitive appearance, sledge training is ideal cross training for anyone involved in a sport demanding body rotation. This includes throwers, martial artists, tennis players, and golfers. Swinging a weighted object under control requires stabilization of the trunk region, which means some killer ab and lower back work. To increase the power of the stroke, simply increase the hip involvement.

Mike Hartle’s series of articles on sledge training at bodybuilding.com is a good primer on the subject. He covers things like different strokes, how to set up a sledge training program, and so forth. You needn’t drag a truck tire into your yard though. Just find any slightly yielding surface to hit, such as a patch of grass, or even just practice swinging the sledge like a golf club or tennis racket.

Jamie Hale has written an intro to sledgehammer training here.

Sportspecific.com on sledgehammer training

Krista lays some renovation beatdowns on drywall with a 4 pounder. Whack!

putting it all together

The first thing to remember when putting together your farm girl workout is to treat these exercises like regular weights, which means:

• use good form: don’t round the back, lift using the legs where necessary, don’t jerk or twist abruptly
• privilege quality of movement over quantity
• treat the movements like reps of a weight set, and rest in between (as well as between workouts)
• don’t try to do everything on one day; pick 510 movements per workout
• start slow and light, since you can always work up to a larger workload and heavier weight
• include a warmup and cool down with each workout

sample workout 1: full body workout

This workout should be done about 3 times weekly, with ideally a day of rest in between workouts.

sample workout 2: split workout

This workout should be done no more than 4 times weekly, with no more than 2 workouts in a row before a rest day. Ideally it should be done every other day.

Day 1 lower body

Day 2 upper body

lifting belts

There are several schools of thought on belts. Judging from the himbos at my gym, you apparently need a belt for biceps curls and walking on the treadmill. Others will say that using a belt makes your abdominal column weak. However, what the actual research indicates is twofold:

First, belts increase intra-abdominal pressure (IAP) and thus are beneficial especially during maximum effort lifts such as squats and deadlifts. Think about your midsection as sort of a hollow cube composed of layers of muscle. The front is your abdominal musculature, the sides are your obliques, the rear is your spinal musculature, the bottom is your pelvic muscles, and the top is your diaphragm. Your body is so smart that before you even actually initiate movement, this cube goes rigid to keep your body stabilized, and it works very nicely in complete synchronization (you can breathe and move without collapsing, although maybe not walk and chew gum at the same time). These babies fire milliseconds before any other movement takes place. This coordinated rigidity of the torso cube results in IAP. IAP is what keeps your midsection from turning into a wet noodle when you put a squat bar on your back. Wearing a belt has been shown to increase IAP, which is a good thing when you’re attempting a very intense lift. This has applications for people like competing powerlifters, who regularly attempt one-rep maxes, both in the gym and in competition. Powerlifters push their abs out against the belt to maintain torso rigidity throughout the exertion.

Second, a belt worn loosely can increase proprioception in the area. In other words, because of the presence of the belt, your body gets sensory feedback that gives it even more information than normal about what’s going on and what it needs to do. This can help you with both producing IAP and keeping proper form. This might have applications for folks with impaired body awareness, or some other difficulty in maintaining torso stability.

Thus, a belt is neither uniformly bad or good, just a useful tool if properly applied. For the average trainer who may never do a one-rep max, or even something like a three-rep max, a belt isn’t really necessary. While many people do feel some tenderness in lower back when they first start squatting, it’s a better strategy to keep intensity lower, work on technique and flexibility, and do a little bit of additional strengthening work for the area.

Now, the problem with belts for women is that many of us are shorter, and are skinnier in the middle and wider at the distal ends. A large leather belt can cut into ribs or hips or both, prevented from fitting properly by our womanly voluptuousness. Many women find that a narrower, flexible belt such as a nylon belt is more appropriate. You might also find some belts that are wider in the back than in the front; if you do want to wear a belt during max lifts, make sure the wide part is in the front, so your abs can press into it. Many powerlifting belts are of uniform width, simple cylinders that you can buckle in the front without sacrificing the belt area to push into. If you’re thinking of competing, might be wise to investigate PL belts rather than the el cheapo lifting belt.

wrist wraps

These are strips of fabric that are wrapped around your wrist. They are used to provide wrist support and stabilize weak wrists, generally for things like bench presses, pushups, etc. If your wrists are healthy, you shouldn’t need these. Or, you may find that at first they provide you with some good support, and that you can eventually phase them out as your connective tissue strengthens.

lifting straps

Not to be confused with wrist wraps. Straps are made of a heavy canvas or leather, and they are a strip with a loop at the end. They can aid your grip on the bar. They are useful for beginners whose grip fails before her pulling muscles have fatigued (for example with deadlifts). Train the exercise till grip fails, then use straps. They are also used for exercises where the weight is quite heavy or unwieldy, again before grip strength has adequately developed, such as some Olympic pulls, or calf raises with a dumbbell. Finally they can be used for folks who are injured (for example, elbow tendonitis), who may try to minimize the amount of gripping they do.

	To the left, here ya got yer basic strap, or at least my artist’s rendition of one. It’s a strip about two inches wide and several inches long, with a loop at one end.
	They come in sets of two, obviously. To make a wrap, simply thread the end through the loop. Now, here’s something stupid I did. My first straps were padded inside. For some reason, having been given this “inside” and “outside”, I got it into my head that the strap could only be looped one way. I said to my OL coach, “Hey, I got two right handed ones.” To his credit he did not point and laugh hysterically. He kindly took one strap and re-threaded the end through the *other* side of the loop. Big fat hairy duh on my part. So, to avoid having your coach think you’re special in the short bus kind of way, make sure you thread one strap through the loop from right to left, and the other strap through the loop from left to right.
	Once you’ve threaded the straps, put them around your wrists, and turn them so that the loops go across your palms. The loop points towards your thumb. Pull the straps tight (not too tight, just snug) and grab the bar.
	Place your hand over the bar so that the strap is hanging down from your wrist, and wrap the strap underneath, then over the bar, making sure there is fabric under your palm so that when you grip the bar tightly, you’re gripping both bar and strap. You don’t need to wrap the whole strap. As long as you can wrap it once, then get a good grip on the piece you’ve just wrapped, you’re fine.
	Finally, rotate the bar towards you to tighten things up. This takes a little practice to get the hang of it, so keep trying.

knee wraps

Same idea as wrist wraps, except that they are usually only used during maximum effort squats. They are wrapped around the knee joint above and below the knee. However, unlike wrist straps, knee wraps are designed to support the joint through compression of the patella (kneecap). While wrist wraps can be worn regularly with no harm, regular use of knee wraps can cause cumulative trauma to the knee joint because of the patellar compression. As such they are worn only for maximum effort type lifts. Or by gym dork guys who like to make a big deal out of wrapping their knees for their little overweighted butt bounce.

bench shirt

The bench shirt looks like a thick fabric tshirt. A bench shirt is designed to be worn in powerlifting competition during the bench press. It adds a level of resistance to the downward path of the bar which enables the lifter to bench press more weight. When the lifter puts it on, or more accurately, when other people put it on her by forcing her into it, like pulverized cow lips into a sausage casing, she cannot lower her arms past about 45 degrees to the body.

gloves

No real need to bother with these. They keep your hands callus free but it’s much harder to grip the bar with them. If you’re worried about calluses, exfoliate palms daily with a pumice stone or foot file while in the shower, then apply heavy duty moisturizer. You may find that your hands are a little sensitive when you first start lifting, but after a week or two, you should be fine.

dip belt

The dip belt is a handy gizmo that looks like a regular weightlifting belt with a chain attached. You thread the chain through the holes in weight plates, or wrap it around a dumbbell, and the weight hangs from your waist. It’s generally used to add weight to do dips, chinups, and pullups, but you can also use it for stuff like calf raises. The cool factor is high on this one, for sure. Just watch those swinging weights once they get hanging, and don’t smack your kneecaps off. Lucky female biology, though, we don’t have to worry about yoinking anything unmentionable.

To the right is a shot of me doing pullups with a dip belt (and the truth comes out: I actually don’t own a head nor feet). You can see that the belt sits low on the hips, and the chain is threaded through a plate.

footwear

Zut alors! Who ees zat styleesh squatter? By the Chanel sunglasses of Anna Wintour, it's Krista in her squattin' boots!

Now, this may surprise you a bit, but the best shoes to wear while lifting are not necessarily those fancy schmancy athletic shoes with the cushioning and air pockets and antigravity and all that. For squatting, standing work such as shoulder pressing, and Olympic-type lifting in particular, a flat-soled shoe like Chuck Taylors is good, or something with ankle support such as a boot with a slight heel. Bear in mind that as the heel increases, the weight is shifted forward when squatting, so that forces on the knee increase. With a slight heel, this isn’t really a problem, though. Just consider it if you’re planning on squatting in the Manolo Blahniks.

Before I got proper weightlifting shoes, I used to swear by my steel-toed army boots for squatting. They have a very slight heel, about half an inch, and they’re heavy and solid. Once I tried them I never looked back. Running shoes are much too unstable and squooshy for squatting in. If you look at Olympic lifters, you’ll notice that they’re performing in what looks like bowling shoes with a wedge heel. These hard-soled shoes also add stability.

For deadlifting, if possible, use your sock feet (or barefeet if you lift at home). Yuh-huh, I said sock feet. No shoes. This provides you with both a flat stable platform (that being the floor), and you’re lower down relative to the bar, which makes the lift easier. In competition many powerlifters wear deadlift slippers, which look sort of like ballet slippers.

chalk

Ooh, I love the smell of chalk in the morning. It smells like victory! Chalk, aka the humble magnesium carbonate, is the white powdery stuff you see gymnasts slapping all over their hands when they do their events. It absorbs moisture and makes it much easier to get a good grip on the bar. Competing powerlifters even chalk up their backs before squatting or bench pressing. You can get chalk in a couple of different forms. It comes in a solid block that you just rub on to your palms (it’s handy to keep this form in a tupperware container). It also comes in a chalk ball, which is a small squashy ball made of netting, full of loose chalk. It’s about the size of a golf ball. This is the form that rock climbers use, and they put it in a cute little bag with a drawstring neck. Then they just stick their hand into the bag, pinch the ball between thumb and fingers, rub it back and forth, and retract their hand with chalk on it. Chalk balls and bags are quite easy to locate; simply check at your local rock climbing or outdoor gear store. The block form is sometimes harder to find since many sporting goods stores don’t carry it (lately, sporting goods stores seem to cater to folks who just want to look athletic, not be athletic. However, you can order it online from places like Ironmind.

Now this stuff will definitely make your life easier. Problem is, it isn’t allowed in many gyms, so you either have to make a fuss about it and see if they’ll grant you special treatment (dubious, but worth a shot) or sneak it in. Using a chalk ball and bag is a good way to do this. If you wear baggy pants that are light gray, you can probably even get away with sticking the ball in your pocket. Discreetly get some chalk on your hand before lifting, then wipe the bar when you’re done (carrying a little towel is handy for wiping up spills and evidence).

surgical tape

This stuff is good to have on hand for taping owies, splinting minor injuries, and wrapping around your hand if you’ve just ripped off a callus. By the way, if you’ve just torn off a callus part way, you can tape over it to lift, or you can even apply Super Glue to hold it on. Personally I think the glue thing is gross, but some people do it.

baby powder

Baby powder does the opposite of chalk: it makes things slippery (so don’t get them mixed up!). This can be useful for deadlifting because the bar may scrape unpleasantly along your thighs. Sprinkle some baby powder on areas that are getting scraped, and voila! No more abrasion. Make sure you don’t get any under your feet, though, unless you want to do a Three Stooges routine. Baby powder, didja know, can also be used to fix a squeaky floor if the problem is the floorboards grinding together. Just sprinkle baby powder between the cracks, brush it in a little bit, then sweep excess away. Don’t say I never tell you anything useful!

mini plates

Sometimes, a five pound jump in resistance is too much, and that’s usually the smallest increment of weight that you can add at most gyms. Enter the baby plates! You can buy these in increments as small as half a pound at PDA (by the way, I strongly recommend these folks… when I ordered from them they were super helpful, fired off speedy emails to answer my questions, and shipped the plates the following day). Or, you can go to the hardware store, buy some big washers, and make your own by duct-taping a few of the washers together. You can also buy Platemates, which are magnetic weights that come in a few different forms, and will just stick to dumbbells, bars, weight plates, and cable stack weights.

Well, MY home gym will cost you maybe TWO monthly payments of $49.99, and you can do just about everything you need with it. In this article, I’ll explain how to set up a basic, starter home gym that is cheap, versatile, and kicks the ass of any machine on the market.

As I get older, I like working out at home more and more. Everything is here, including my TeeVee, stereo, and coffee machine. It’s a two second commute. I can work out whenever I like. I can work out while sporting major bedhead, and wearing my pyjamas. Nobody yells at me for using chalk, clanging the weights, or doing odd lifts. And nobody is hogging my equipment.

It’s easy to assume that having a good home gym is restricted to independently wealthy dilettantes who have an entire floor dedicated to their expensive exercise toys. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, you can do about a thousand times more with two adjustable dumbbells than you could do with any single machine – or even ten machines.

Above is a shot of most of my home gym setup. Most of it was obtained at the local hardware store or Canadian Tire, and the whole thing probably cost me about $100, including the box it’s kept in. It consists of the following, starting at the top of the photo:

• A steel box from IKEA to hold most of the stuff, tucked under the table in the corner (you can see the lid off to the right, which goes on the box when not in use)
• Collars to hold the plates on the dumbbell handles and barbell
• 2 folded towels, to protect the floor from the weight plates; they also come in handy for loading the bars, as I put the plates on the towels and slide them on to the bar
• 2 small wraparound 1 lb wrist weights, which come in handy for adding small increments of weight to dumbbells or barbell – I just wrap them around the ends of the bars
• 2 standard dumbbell handles
• Weight plates in varying sizes – I have laid out a couple each of 2.5, 5, and 10 lb plates; I own several of each plus some larger ones, which go on a shelf in the hallway
• A jump rope
• A little timer for timing intervals
• An 8 lb sledgehammer for Shovelglove exercises
• A standard barbell, which stands up in an unused corner when not in use
• That floor space, perhaps 25 to 30 feet square (just enough to swing the jump rope)
• A doorway pullup bar (not shown)
• My front steps, as well as the large outdoor staircase down the street

I have a sturdy coffee table that I use as a bench, and a fluffy rug that serves as a gym mat.

I use the standard bars, which have 1″ diameter ends, rather than the Olympic bars, which have 2″ diameter ends, because the standard bars are cheaper and smaller. For the average trainee, standard bars will meet most needs. However, if you are planning to embark on a powerlifting or Olympic weightlifting career, you will of course wish to invest in the Olympic bars and a more substantial setup.

The first problem with home gym machines is that their exercise range is limited. With this simple setup, I have complete freedom to do an immense variety of exercises. A sample of the exercises I can do with this equipment includes:

• Olympic lifts such as the clean and jerk and the snatch, as well as their assistance lifts, such as power cleans and snatches, clean and snatch pulls, hang cleans and snatches, front squats, and overhead squats. When I do Olympic lifts, I simply set the collars on the barbell a little bit looser, and the plates spin easily on the thinner standard barbell, which emulates the spinning action of the Olympic bar’s ends. I also do many one- and two-hand Olympic dumbbell lifts such as the one-hand snatch.
• Ballistic dumbbell exercises such as the dumbbell swing. A super-simple but kickass workout: set the timer for 15 min, and alternate 1 min of dumbbell swings with 1 min of rope jumping for that time period.
• Squatting type movements such as deadlifts, front squats, front and side lunges and single-leg squats, pistols (unweighted single-legged squats with one leg held out straight in front), and step-ups (good old coffee table).
• Pulling exercises such as pullups, shrugs, and rows.
• Pressing exercises such as one- and two-hand overhead presses, side presses, lying presses, handstand presses, and pushups.
• Raises to front, side, and back, bent over or standing straight up.
• Midsection exercises including low back, deep torso, and ab exercises.
• “Manual labour” type exercises with the sledgehammer including wood chops, fire stoking, “paddling”, “butter churning”, and all the other wonderful Shovelglove ideas.
• Conditioning exercises such as rope jumping, shadow boxing, and stair running, as well as slow bo (staff) drills with the standard bar.

Even if you only have a pair of adjustable dumbbells, you can do most of these exercises. Most exercises have one and two-handed or -legged versions. For other ideas, check out ExRx’s exercise directory, Body by Fish’s exercise list, more stair exercises than you ever thought possible, and of course, the awesome Bryce Lane.

Many people are concerned about starting with free weights and assume that machines are safer. Take a look at the picture to the left. That is a 2.5 lb. plate, the smallest size plate (although you can often buy even lighter ones if you look around). That’s my hand, and I don’t have very big paws. That’s a free weight. Not so scary, is it? You can start with just holding that little plate for your resistance. Hell, you can even start with soup cans. No matter what your strength level and ability, free weights will accommodate it. A great way to start is with a combination of bodyweight-only exercises (such as those in Bryce Lane’s article, above) and simple free weight exercises, using as light a weight as you feel comfortable with. Then you simply add weight as you practice and progress. For example, you can make a basic beginner workout to do three times per week that includes:

• Unweighted squats, 2 sets x 15 to 20 reps
• Standing overhead dumbbell press, 2 x 15
• One-hand dumbbell row, 2 x 15, either on bench or bent at the hips with non-lifting hand resting on a counter or table
• Counter, knee, or regular pushups, 2 sets
• Shrugs, 2 x 15
• One-legged calf raises on step, 2 x 15
• Ab or lower back exercise of choice, 2 sets
• (on non-weights days) Staircase running, 30 to 60 second “sets” with 10 to 20 seconds rest

And wala! There you are! Almost a ninja already!

The other common safety concern that people have is getting stuck under the bar during certain exercises such as the bench press. There are two ways to address this: don’t ever work to failure intentionally (you shouldn’t anyway), and use dumbbells for the one or two exercises that are high risk. Again, if you are a competitive powerlifter you will probably train at a gym, or be willing to invest in a more complete bench press rack setup. The average person will do fine with dumbbell presses as an alternative. However, in most cases, you’re not going to be trapped under anything. You should use the correct amount of weight so that you are in control of it at all times. If a two-handed or two-legged version of something is getting too heavy for you to manage, cut the weight down until you can handle it properly, and/or switch to a one-handed or one-legged version. And almost no exercises require holding a bar directly over any important body parts anyway. Usually, the worst that can happen is dropping something on your toe.

The second problem with home gym machines is that to expand your repertoire, you have to buy more machines. With a setup like this, adding resistance is easy: I just buy a few more plates every now and again. Weight plates are pretty cheap, and you only have to buy small increments, as you need them.

As you can see in the photo, adjustable dumbbells can be made into any size you like. The dumbbell on the right is 43 lbs., and the one on the left is 8 lbs. You can even use the unweighted handles if you’re a total beginner; the dumbbell handles I own are about 3 lbs. each. With adjustable dumbbells, you don’t need to buy a whole bunch of dumbbells in different weights. You just put the dumbbell together in any way you prefer. The wraparound wrist weights can help you add small amounts of weight if you don’t want to commit to the 5 lb. jump of adding on a couple of 2.5 lb. plates. Or, you can even add a little weight to only one end of the dumbbell, although I don’t recommend that with a barbell.

However, let us say that you do have a bit of room, money to invest, and a commitment to strength sports. In that case, I recommend purchasing an Olympic weight set along with a power cage or rack. The only exercise that I cannot do with my current setup is the back squat, as I can’t press enough to get the bar up and over my head, on to my back (I just use front squats instead). If you are super fancy then you will make an Olympic platform and buy bumper plates, and at that point you don’t need my help anyway. Endure my jealousy and undying envy instead.

Don’t be afraid to use your imagination. Humans got strong long before there were gyms. Just find heavy stuff and move it around.

Soviet-era instructional diagrams for kettlebell use

It’s not entirely clear where and when the first person got the idea to stick a handle on a heavy thing and fling it around—both the Russians and Scottish are at least two claimants to the honour of throwing rocks—but at some point in human history, someone invented the kettlebell, a rounded weight with a handle – rather like a kettle without a spout. These kettlebells can be lifted, swung, flipped, cleaned, squatted, and used as substitutes for dumbbells and barbells. Kettlebells are enjoying a renaissance in North American fitness, in part thanks to some well-developed marketing that hints at military training secrets, in part because they are versatile and fun training tools.

An intro to kettlebell training

Kettlebells themselves are solid balls, usually iron, that come in various weights, but each kettlebell itself cannot be adjusted. As a woman who sees nothing unusual about owning five pairs of black boots, I also crave more versatility in my training implements. Enter the Kettlestack.

The Kettlestack combines the concept of a kettlebell with the plate-loaded element of bars or dumbbells. This enables the user to adjust the weight used for kettlebell exercises. The design is simple: a band of steel is threaded through a handle in a “U” shape. The ends of the band have three available holes through which passes a central hexnut. Plates of any size can be loaded on to the handle; then the hexnut passes through their centre holes, and is secured with a bolt or two (depending on the configuration).

I tried out the Kettlestack for various exercises: snatches, cleans, swings, curls, overhead presses, and ab exercises such as Turkish getups and windmills (shown below). I also gave deadlifting with it a try, and liked that quite a lot – unlike using a bar, the torso stays more upright with a kettlebell deadlift because the weight is between the knees, not in front of them.

To do the windmill, clean the kettlestack up to shoulder height, then press it overhead so that your arm is straight. Allow the weight to rest on the back of your forearm. Look at your hand. Keep looking up at your hand as you carefully bend sideways from the hips, keeping legs and arms straight. Let your hip drift out to the side as your body leans over, and keep your midsection tight – don’t let it sag. Once your non-kettlestack hand touches the floor, return to starting position, again keeping arms and legs straight. Only when you have completed the desired number of reps do you lower the kettlestack. You could, however, do a combo if you like, of clean + press + windmill = 1 rep. This exercise strengthens shoulder girdle and midsection.

Assembly of the stack was easy, although my first attempt at this one morning at 6:30 am before coffee seemed somewhat complex. Then again, tying my shoes for my morning workout at that hour usually feels like brain surgery. Once I looked at the schematic diagrams on the Kettlestack website (and the caffeine hit my system), it was very simple to do. Basically, slap the ends of the “U” around a few plates like the bread for a sandwich, stick a plate or two on the outside if desired, bolt the thing together like the sandwich’s toothpick, and it’s time to swing. In the beginning, I didn’t have enough small plates to really fill out the bell, so although it was well bolted, the rattling of the few plates I had strung together was disconcerting enough to make me quit temporarily. However, a quick trip to the local sports store and a few more 2.5 and 5 lb plates later, the bell puffed out nicely like a solid little iron Michelin man. I used standard plates for this (1″ diameter holes), which work very well. Changing the weights is easy and about as fast as changing a dumbbell that uses a spinlock collar. Using a combo of smaller and larger plates, with the smaller ones on the outside, gives the stack the rounded appearance and behaviour of a more traditional kettlebell, but using plates that are all the same size works just fine too.

While lots of fun, what impressed me most about the stack was not the thing itself but the obvious care and attention that the Kettlestack folks have lavished on their product. The handle has a comfy grip that because of its slightly oval cross-section, fits well even into my small paws. The Kettlestack people assure me that this is a deliberate part of their design, and that plenty of creative energy was expended to ensure that lifters of all shapes and sizes would find the stack a comfortable training tool. The three levels of holes on the “U” enable the stack to adapt to various plate configurations that use many different sizes of plates. The materials used are basic but good quality, and users are even given additional instruction on using additional bolts if desired.

The Kettlestack gets the Mistress’ seal of butched-up approval! Makes you strong like bull!

A platform is a handy thing for a few reasons.

• It protects the floor beneath the weights.
• It demarcates a lifting space neatly, which is particularly useful in an area that has some traffic.
• Depending on how you build it, it can cushion the noise of setting the weights down.
• It provides a solid foundation to stand on, but something to pad the area that the weight plates touch.
• In the case of our design, it also provides a little “safety fence” to prevent the weights rolling away.

The concept behind a platform is pretty basic: imagine a large square on the floor, with three panels. One panel on each side is rubber, and will provide some give. The centre panel is wood. You stand on the centre, with the barbell running crosswise, and the barbell’s plates rest on each side, on the rubber. Now, snooty universities with elite sports teams have fancypants lifting platforms with lovely hardwood and expensive bumper plates and so forth. They need a team of structural engineers to make their platforms to accommodate large meaty men dropping 600 pound cleans. But if you’re the average lifter (and average carpenter) shmoe like me, and you just want something to prevent the barbell from bashing up the linoleum, here’s your plan.

Thanks to my incessant whining (and since nobody else knew which end of the barbell was up), I was put in charge of setting up the weight area as part of the construction of a new Toronto Newsgirls gym. My friend, boxer and Mistress Sunday co-instructor OMGBFFA (aka “Machine”) and I decided to construct a lifting platform for the lovely ladies. I began with a basic plan from Randall Strossen’s article on Ironmind, but added a frame.

what you’ll need:

1. Four sheets of plywood, 4′ x 8′, 1/2 to 3/4″ thick. This will form your base.
2. One to three sheets of plywood, 4′ x 8′, 3/4″ thick. This will provide the centre piece.
3. Two 2″ x 6″, 8 feet long
4. Two 2″ x 6″, 10 feet long
   The wood for items 3 and 4 will provide your frame. You can use thinner pieces of wood, say 2″ x 4″ if you want, for items 3 and 4. Or you can dispense with the frame altogether, as in the Strossen model. It’s up to you. We wanted a nice big edge on the plaform to be sure that no plates would roll off. If you’re using a proper weightlifting bar that has nicely spinning ends, as we are, sometimes those babies can get up momentum if you drop them just right. They’ll leap over the edges of things once they pick up speed, so we wanted to be sure no 45s were going to run amok. This will also provide lots of opportunity for hilarious pratfalls until people figure out how to watch their step. We, um, plan to paint it yellow, just to be on the safe side.
5. Two pieces of rubber matting, each 2′ x 8′. Thickness will depend on what you can get your hands on, which is why item 2 is variable.
6. Wood screws, 1.25″ (to screw the plywood base together) and 2.5″ (to screw the outside frame to the base)
7. Wood glue
8. Power drill

This will build you a platform that is just over 8 feet square, wide enough to accommodate the standard 7 foot Olympic bar. If you like, you can always build a shallower one — cut the wood to size or have it done for you when you buy it. I do advise the 8 foot width, but you could easily construct it to be 8 feet wide and perhaps 6 feet deep. The only other tool you need besides the drill is a saw. If you don’t have a power saw handy, since you’re only making 2 cuts, you could do this by hand if you don’t mind a little elbow grease. If you don’t even have a hand saw, if you’re not overly picky about precision and don’t care about a perfect edge, you can get the two 10-foot 2″x6″s (item 4) cut when you buy them — cut to 8 feet plus 4 inches, so 100 inches.

Setting up the materials and equipment.

Sheets of 4' x 8' plywood, 3/4" thick. The platform will be built against to the back wall, with approximately 8" of space in between to allow for the plates on the squat stands (shown at the rear of the junk pile here).

Lay out the first layer of plywood. Here, the pieces run right to left in relation to the wall. If you squint you can just make out the centre seam where the two pieces meet. One of the 8-foot long 2"x6" pieces is propped against the back. Again, there's about 8" of space between the back piece and the wall.

Apply wood glue to the top of the first layer and... oh my god, that is SOOOO immature, girls!

The second layer of plywood goes on top, crosswise to the first layer (i.e. running top to bottom in relation to the wall). This second layer is secured with the glue in between, and then screwed down. Here you can see my little helper monkey OMGBFFA showing her mad skillz on the power drill. Drill your screws along the edge of each sheet of plywood, about 2" from the edge to prevent splitting. Use the 1.25" wood screws here.

Take the two 8 foot long 2" x 6"s and screw them to the front and the back of the plaform (you can see screws along the bottom edge here at the front). Use your longer wood screws here. Screw in at a slight downward angle instead of straight in, if you can. Line up the two other 2" x 6"s on the side and measure for length. Then cut as needed. If you had these cut to the 8 foot 4 inch length already, go ahead and screw those on too. When you're done, you should have sort of a box as shown. Then, take your other piece(s) of 4' x 8' plywood, and lay it in the centre, as shown. Now you have a 4' wide centre piece, and two 2' wide gaps, one on each side. The rubber mats go into the gap. How many pieces of wood you put down in the centre is determined by how thick your rubber mats are. We're only getting 1/2" thick mats, because this plaform won't be used for Olympic weightlifting with bumper plates, and thus won't need lots of cushioning.

We haven't gotten our proper rubber mats yet, so for now, we've laid down a couple of pieces of foam that we had lying around. But this gives you the idea of how the finished product will look. We've moved the squat stands back, and set them at the rear of the platform. They'll be set wider, into their proper place, once we get the mats in.

Christening the plaform by pretending like I'm squatting 500 pounds.